I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
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