Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
Randomize
