Grow some girl-balls and come out already
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
