Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
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