Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
Randomize
