Can i not drive my cunt home
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
Randomize
