I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
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