Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
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