On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
The police scanner is talking about you again....
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
Randomize
