Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
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