what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
Randomize
