Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
Randomize
