with your own penis?
I'm going to get drunk on champagne by myself.
Oh no wait my cat's here. Thank god for a second there I sounded really sad.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Randomize
