do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
I'm gonna fight the coyote
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
Randomize
