Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
It's okay, I found my phone in the toaster oven. Logical explanation: 5 martinis
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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