Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
Randomize
