better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
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