Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
Randomize
