We should be called the Road Head Warriors
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
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