The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
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