we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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