She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize
