i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
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