got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
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