Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
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