Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
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