i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
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