his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
Randomize
