you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
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