mom just said that her bf is good in bed. fml.
i am watching a movie about a vagina with teeth and then you sent that to me while im eating sushi.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
Randomize
