that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Randomize