Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
Randomize
