And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
so much tequila, so little girl.
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Randomize
