He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
Randomize
