Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
We left an ass print on the piano.
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
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