My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
I use my feet as sexual weapons
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
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