Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
Randomize
