First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
Randomize
