so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
Boobs speak an international language.
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
Randomize
