My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
Randomize
