Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
