She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
Randomize
