I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
MASS TEXT: Next weekend I will be in town for St. Patty's day. There will be a bonfire and liqour olympics. We will have booze but in order to participate it is byob. Upon arrival everyone will be asked to sign a waiver. I am not responsible for liver failure, death, loss of clothing or memory, bites, scratches, hickies, pregnancies, or any other for of injury you may obtain while participating. There will be ridiculous amounts of green glitter, be prepared to puke it up. ALSO WEAR SOMETHING GREEN OR YOU WILL BE PENALIZED!! AUTOMATIC 5 SHOTS. HAPPY GAMING!!!
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