I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
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