...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
How drunk are you?
Completed.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Randomize
