ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date.
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
