The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
Randomize
