My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
i just realized that the oil change sticker on my windshield is a day before the last time i had sex. I've driven exactly 10500 miles since.
you need to get laid.. and an oil change.
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Randomize
