So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
My ATM looks so different sober.
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
Your cock deserves a montage
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
Randomize
