I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
Randomize
