Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
please don't call me when you're wasted. i don't feel like having any other future arguments at 3:18am about how to hang up your phone. you have a flip phone, you should know regardless of how fucked up you are.
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
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