If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
Randomize
