you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
Randomize
