Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
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