WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
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