He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
Randomize
