Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
Randomize
