Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
