My hair reeks of homosexuality.
he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
