i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
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