my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
Randomize
