yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
Randomize
