i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
Randomize
