thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
Randomize
