All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize
