Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
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